"Supervising The Visit"

Building a relationship with the parents of any of our foster children was something I (Ashley) had a very hard time wrapping my head around. I had only seen the negative sides of these bio parents in various cases my friends had dealt with and was extremely stand-off-ish about the idea of being "friends" (or even remotely close to that) with them. My incredible husband was totally all about it...the awesome people-person that he is ;)

However, as we took our PRIDE (foster parent training) classes and talked to more foster parents, support workers, and case workers, God began to change my heart on this aspect of being a foster parent. Now, let me preface this by saying that every case is different and in some cases this would not be safe, wise, or anywhere near beneficial. But I believe in some situations this can be a very positive thing. In DS's case, a relationship with his biological parents will not ever happen. Rights are already terminated so it's not even an issue. Extended family could be a possibility, and that's an ongoing prayer request of ours. We haven't decided yet or figured out how that would look. But in L's case, the parents are extremely young and we can see ourselves being drawn to them. To help, encourage, love, listen, pray, invite, include, teach, show, be an example, mentor, and yes....friend. And today hopefully sparked that interest in journeying through this process together, as a team, for the long haul.

Since we had L, we have tried to meet up with her parents a few times. Father's Day, a doctor's appointment, and a Fourth of July event at our church. Always: last minute excuses as to why they couldn't come. We continued pursuing them, and finally arranged the first "Supervised-by-Us" visit. Now, I firmly believe there was some Spiritual warfare going on, trying to make this visit not happen. First, dad cancelled because he had to work an extra shift last minute, so mom's mom was going to come instead. (Which we were ok with, but we were really looking forward to talking to THEM, not her mom) Then, our second-born got sick with Hand Foot Mouth Disease (not as serious as it sounds but very uncomfortable and contagious) on Monday. Next, our foster son, DS, started with a fever Wednesday morning, which is the first "sign" of HFMD...so my incredible in-laws came over to watch the middle two boys and off we went with our oldest and youngest :)

We met up at Chick-fil-A (because where else would you meet? Cracker Barrel? Well, that would've been my first choice if it had been closer to our second stop...hehe) and shared a meal while C played in the play area. We asked if we could pray for our food, and they immediately said "yes, please!" and held out their hands...wow! Great conversation followed, and the day really did turn out better than I ever could have hoped. Mom stated that she felt "blessed" to have us as "her" foster parents and that she was so thankful for us including her in outings like this. She is very determined to finish her case plan and get her daughter back, which is so refreshing to see/hear after so many stories of bio parents who don't give a rip. Grandma even made a statement about how they would like us to stay involved in their lives after "all of this" is done. Wow, Lord, thank you! That's exactly what we are praying for. 

It's just a start...but everyone's gotta start somewhere. Please join us in praying for L, her mom & dad, grandparents and our brand new friendship. Thanks y'all!!