I know I promised an update on how court for L went....so here goes!
On Wednesday morning I got myself and L ready, brought clothes for Jose (who had been at work and would be returning to work after), and left the three boys with my amazing in-laws. Y'all, I was NERVOUS! I even forgot Jose's belt and shoes. :) Luckily, he had some from work that would do just fine. I picked him up at the fire station and off we went towards the courthouse.
After parking, loading L in the stroller and walking in, we had to then take her OUT of the stroller, go through the security checkpoint, get her back INTO the stroller, and head to the third floor. We arrived about 10 minutes early and her bio parents, the caseworker and the guardian were already there. Now, we've been on pretty good terms with her parents so it's not so much nerves/anxiety about them specifically, more about how the panel (this time we were not in front of a judge) was going to handle their progress and their requests.
Bio mom immediately wanted to hold her, which of course is fine, and so we began our wait....we were supposed to get called in at 11....yeah, right. In the meantime, L was getting fussy because 11:30 is nap time for her, and when we're not at home and she's not in her bed, she has a much harder time going to sleep.
L was all dolled up in a cute dress with a big bow on her head...which she started playing with. She proceeded to pull it out and let go .... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! When she had let go, it snapped her in the forehead....oops! ;) While it was kind of funny (to us), bio mom felt so bad and L was being SO loud. She is a very emotional little girl and makes her feelings known, that's for sure. To top it off, she was tired, so this little incident just made matters worse. She wailed and wailed for the longest time, but mom was persistent and finally was able to not only calm her, but get her to sleep. Without our help (other than handing her a paci and a blanket for L), without losing her cool, and all while in a cute dress and heels ;) I was impressed. It was the first time I really got to see her handle a stressful situation with L (one that makes ANY mama cringe!) and I was pleased to see how she took care of it.
Anyways, we finally got called into the panel room around 11:45. We all sat down, introduced ourselves and the panel got started asking questions. They asked the case manager how the case plan was coming along. They asked us how L was doing. They asked the case manager how bio parents were with L (one panel member asked us the same thing, as we see them with her more than the case worker does; she doesn't supervise visits). They asked mom and dad how they felt things were going ("not fast enough"). Then the case manager said she was suggesting unsupervised visits. Without hesitation, no questions asked, the panel granted their request. Now, I'm not necessarily against them having unsupervised visits. I just wish they would have asked some (I believe) important questions:
-Do you have transportation of your own? (no)
-Where will you take her, since there is no approved home study and you can't take her to your house?
-How many days/hours are we requesting?
-Who can accompany you on these visits?
I was hoping for a clear outline of how this was going to work, which didn't happen. The judge still has to approve the request, which may or may not happen. (I'm thinking she might request answers to those, or more, questions)
And then, one panel member asks "So are we going to suggest overnight visits as well?"
My heart DROPPED to the floor. Jose later said he even heard me gasp or choke (I hope he was the only one, haha) Thankfully, the case manager, guardian, and attorney for the department all quickly said "no!". There is no approved home study so this cannot happen until they are completely done with their case plan, and have a cleared home.
Then, just like that, we were done! It was so quick, and we don't go back until January 8, so there were still many questions left unanswered.
I felt better after talking to the case manager the next day. She answered a lot of those questions for me and helped me understand the unsupervised visits a little better.
-Bio parents have to check in 24 hours in advance and tell the CM where they are going to be taking L
-They have to get their transportation approved and have proof of insurance
-The guardian as well as the CM will stop by the visits every so often
(And if they aren't where they said they'd be: big trouble)
Although I didn't get an answer to my "how many days a week and for how long on those days" question, she did assure me that the visits have to be pre-planned, and can't simply be on a "hey, we want to see our daughter today" whim.
It was great to see how God worked everything out - from mom and dad being so easy-going and hands-on with L prior to going into court, the CM and others being quick to deny overnights, to having our friend from Florida Baptist Children's Homes in there with us for support (and a yummy lunch afterwards!). He really is our rock, our provider, and comfort. We couldn't be doing this without His guidance and strength.
Now that we have this court experience under our belt, we are anxious to see how DS's court date on 9/10 goes. Probably nothing like this one - their cases couldn't be more opposite. But hey, that's what we signed up for. Every child comes from a unique situation and could potentially have a different outcome.
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